What is your role in mental health ?

As someone who has suffered from clinical depression and anxiety, I was moved by the events of yesterday and the impact it had on all netizens. Sushant was not just a versatile actor, he was quite successful as someone who transitioned from TV to movies through hard work, determination and passion towards his craft. Apart from being a movie star, he was a true admirer of nature and the cosmos, which was reflected through his Instagram handle. I was an avid follower of his posts, where he used to connect with his fans and often used to reply to their comments. His humility despite his rise in the entertainment industry made him extremely loved. And the cherry on top was him being an engineer, a career which is ardently pursued in our country.

Post his death, I learned that he had been suffering from clinical depression for quite some time, he was taking medicines and going for counselling. What bothered me that most of his co-workers who claimed to be
close to him said that they were not aware of his condition. He was always so full of life.

Many had the same question "what pushed him towards such a decision?"

As Sonia Thomas, Digital Creator has mentioned - suicide is not a split-second decision made before committing the act. It's a systematic downward spiral and we genuinely need to understand and respect the need for mental health resources and education. Due the existing taboo around mental health, we never know what our loved ones are going through. They look extremely happy from outside because there is this increasing pressure about "being positive" all the time. The reason and symptoms behind depression varies from person to person, so, don't be so quick on concluding that the person is fine. 

Patients on mental health need a support system and it must begin with someone they love, it can be their partner, their parent or a friend. How can you help as a friend?

The first step is being open-minded

Success or money is not a measure of someone's mental health. One of the most common questions mental
health patients are asked, what are you missing out in life, you have everything? And for someone like Sushant, this question must have been extremely common.This is called Victim Blaming. This person is looking for help and empathy, and judgement is not going to help. Be kind, listen to their perspective, find out the trigger factor. The second step is to make them feel safe. 

In most cases, people start moving away from their friends, they start isolating themselves, they
don't feel the need to get out of their homes and meet people. Have a discussion with them and find out what is troubling them. Suggest therapysessions and set up appointments with a doctor. Accompany them to the
counselling sessions if possible.

The third step is to, make them trust you.

Check up on them frequently and ask them how they are feeling. Volunteer for helping them out,
it might start with something very simple as sharing a good song, an inspirational video, taking them out for lunch.

And the last step, always remind them that they are not alone in their journey. Remind them that they are loved. Don't abandon them if you can't take responsibility.

If your friend isfeeling suicidal, don't leave them alone. Try to keep them engaged through activities they love, and they are genuinely good at. This person needs to find a reason to live, give them that reason. Thousands of people commit suicide, we often question what we could have done better ? How about starting with creating a world where they don't feel embrassed to share their thoughts.

Meaning in the time of COVID-19

I have always been an avid reader of fiction.So, one of the things that I decided to do during this lockdown is read more non-fiction. And I came across this while reading the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankl, where he quotes his favourite author, Fyodor Dostoevsky.

“Man is a creature that can get accustomed to anything, and I think that is the best definition of him.”

Victor Frankl was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, and a Holocaust survivor, of Theresienstadt, Auschwitz. He was the founder of logotherapy (literally "healing through meaning") a meaning-centred school of psychotherapy. During his time in the concentration camp he assisted in the psychotherapy of the residents. If you are aware of the history of Holocaust, the Jews lost their homes and belongings. The once prosperous people were reduced to prisoners, they were separated from their loved one, while some sought shelter in German households risking their lives, most were sent to these concentration camps. The lives they had were far from what they had lived or dreamt about. Stripped of dignity and the most basic necessities, they lived each every day hoping someday they will escape these dreadful camps and be united with their family and friends. Frankl had people coming to him asking for advice, how to survive when they have lost everything? How to not be affected by the despair the have been forced into and the depravity of the Nazis who stole their lives ? He said that the primary motivational force of an individual is to find a meaning in life. For him it was the love for his wife.

When the news of Coronavirus becoming a pandemic reached us and all countries slowly started going into lockdown, people around me started panicking. Even I was. I thought of not seeing my friends, my father’s an essential worker, I was worried about his safety, my sister lives in the USA and people around her were dying every day. We were complaining a lot about missing out on the parties, clubbing and outings. Weddings were cancelled, shopping malls and cinemas started closing. And of course, various conspiracy theories about China waging a bio-war against the whole world started circulating in social media.

Frankl’s words resonated through these difficult times. Life offers you purpose and meaning; it does not owe you a sense of fulfilment or happiness. The three ways we can find meaning are learning to adopt towards an unavoidable suffering, learning to love something or someone and accomplishing short term goals; it might be something as simple as cleaning your wardrobe. His words inspired thousands of Holocaust survivors. Instead of breaking down, they accepted their circumstances and went on with their lives.

So, what happens if this is a war? I imagined the worst possible scenario; suppose we have to stay under lockdown for the next 5 years. What if there is no cure? We see apocalypses in movies like the “Quiet Place”. No one from my generation has ever seen a war. May be this is the test of our resilience, unity and solidarity as a  species.

One month down the lockdown, I started noticing less complaints. I saw a change in our attitude.

I saw people around me helping the community though various selfless acts. They were volunteering and donating generously. I saw doctors being treated with respect, science becoming our faith, technology becoming our hope. People stopped going to public places and they tried their best to adjust to the new way of living through various activities. People learned to love what they have been gifted with.

I  myself got involved in charity and volunteering with several NGOs, I decided to find some time teaching children from underprivileged families, started painting, practising music and learned to cook different cuisines.

I saw people talking more about mental illness. This has always been a taboo, but in the absence of a normal life, people started encountering depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Shrinks started giving online therapy sessions, parents started becoming more aware of their children’s mental health issues, organizations came forward to talk about mental health. I saw people embracing differences and becoming less judgemental. We started thinking more about the environment which we have forsaken for such a long time. We stopped thinking about what we can’t change but what we can. And slowly, together we built a brave new world.

In the end, it’s our collective will to become better people which kept us going in these unprecedented times. Human life is ephemeral and filled with uncertainties, but as long as we have a meaning, we can always survive.

Now that the lockdown has been lifted,do you feel you have finally found a meaning in life?