I finished reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" a few weeks ago.Most people have watched the movie,but I decided to read the original script,to get the unadulterated version of the story,free off the typical stuff that are added to make it a cult "youth" movie.
No one actually recommended me to read it,most people actually asked me to watch the movie because of the petite Emma Watson who had done shed off her Hermione Granger image and stepped into a completely different arena altogether.
Anyways,I stopped picturing them altogether while reading the novel and decided to paint a picture of those characters in my own isolated imagination,far away from the Hollywoodized rendition.
So,this is a story about Charlie,a sort of an introvert kind of a guy,who has joined high school.He lost his only friend and is now completely friendless.He isn't comfortable speaking to unknown people.He has a complicated family like most people,a brother who is into sports,a sister who is mostly busy dating.His parents are supportive with a past of their own which they try to keep away from their own children.
Charlie loved his aunt Helen the most,she made him feel loved and special,but her unfortunate death in a car accident devastates Charlie the most.While the other members move past her death,Charlie seems to remember every detail about his aunt,he thinks about her when he is upset,alone.He visits her grave without his parents' knowledge and wishes to join her at the other side of the world.
Charlie is quite ecstatic and at the same time tensed when he joins high school,he sits beside a frenzied couple at a basketball match-Sam and Patrick.To his utter surprise,they are step-siblings and they welcome him to their crazy world of booze,music and friends.Charlie visits parties with them,passes out and views things he is not accustomed to.He discovers that Patrick is secretly a homosexual,in love with another guy named Brad.He sees them making out but Patrick asks him to keep quiet as society finds homosexuality unnatural.He watches a girl getting raped by her boyfriend.He falls in love slowly with the enigmatic Sam.
They together listen to the most amazing songs,he gives a glimpse of the music in the 90's,that includes my own favorite "Nirvana".Patrick and Sam were a huge fan of Nirvana.They make mixed tapes out of their favorite songs and gift them to each other.Sam and Patrick introduce Charlie to their favorite song "Asleep" by the Smiths and Charlie can't stop listening to it.
Even I can't..
"Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go
...
There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well..."
Death is the theme and death is what Charlie relates to most,because Aunt Helen is dead.I kind of feel sorry for him at that time,when he says,he listens to "Asleep" in a loop.How does it feel when the person who loved you the most goes away forever?And you could never say goodbye?It reminds me of my brother who died in the most unfortunate way.Life is so strange and unpredictable,ghastly and ugly. Nothing actually seems to fit in,when one thing comes,something else is missing.
When Charlie kisses Sam,she tells him "I want you to know that the first person who kissed you,loved you"
Sam loves Charlie,more in a childish affectionate way,but Charlie aches for Sam.He finds her the most beautiful.
Sam starts dating another guy,but Charlie doesn't feel jealous him,he is happy for Sam,because she is in love.But he only wants him to be more attentive to Sam,to listen to the wonderful things she has to say,the way Charlie listens to her when she talks and watches her as she smiles.
His love is seemingly innocent and beautiful,the way we feel about the person we desire the most,but can't get.
I used to love someone too in high school,but he used to date another girl.It was weird that while other people bitched about her infront of me,I defended her saying "She is a nice person,he loves her,she makes him happy".I never tried to confront him but loved him immensely in the deepest corner of my heart.
Well,thats what love actually is,it is selfless and weird.It is when you offer your umbrella to that person when it is raining,an check on him if he is sick and make sure that he has reached home safely.It is about listening to his favorite songs and watching his favorite actor's movies even though you despise them.It is about listening to him speak about the stuff he loves,even if you have no interest in them.It is always about the little things that make a huge difference.
And the amazing books Charlie reads along with his teacher Bill.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
The Stranger by Albert Camus
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
I just wish I had an amazing teacher like Bill who could give me great life advice like "Charlie,we accept the love we think we deserve" when Charlie tells him about his sister being in an abusive relationship and yet not having the courage to abandon the guy because she is love with him.
Charlie starts dating the geeky Mary Elizabeth but he realizes he doesn't love her even though she is an amazing person.He only loves Sam but he doesn't want to be single.
He breaks up with her after he kisses Sam in a truth and dare game.
It is like my whole life in a nutshell.
Liking people who never liked me back,being liked by people who I never liked back and liking people who liked me back,but eventually things didn't work out.
There was a time when I felt stupid and guilty for actions,for being impulsive and jumping into decisions without thinking about the consequences.
But then I see Charlie,a bright student who does the same stupid things.
He allows his gay friend to kiss him because he didn't want to upset him,even though he knew it was wrong.
You see,life isn't perfect,flawless,there are is no such thing as doing the right thing always.Yes,it makes more sense,when we make mistakes,because we all want certain things at a certain point of time and we don't want it anymore.Sometimes,we crave for the things we know are impossible to achieve,but that's what makes us human.
We are all bound to do some drunken mistakes,fall crazily in love with someone,think about someone who is not alive although it is useless thinking about him or her.
The thing is our life is not just lived for some purpose,sometimes things just happen.And they give life a certain edge,they make our life so very beautiful that we forget what is going to happen in the future.
At the end of the book,when Charlie and Sam make love,but Sam has to leave for her college.Charlie has to move on with his life.I realize,that I am past those stages where I used to take hasty decisions,when I could just do silly things and not bother about it.I am grown up,I will be joining the corporate world very soon,will be earning my own money,I will have to take decisions that not only affect my own life but others' too,I will be given certain responsibilities and I will have to prove myself worthy of them.
I have just started to miss my student life now,the good old days are gone and I am a working adult now.
A new chapter begins, a new life beholds, a new journey awaits ....
Bye,bye,bye old me....
