Understanding Harry Potter

I have spent half of my school life convincing people that Harry Potter is not a children's story.Just because it had a boy fighting the evil,it doesn't necessarily mean it's the typical David and Goliath story or the prince defeating the witch for his princess.Harry Potter captured our imagination and it made us think of the virtues that matter,the relations that last forever and the moments that we cherish.It's based on reality,it is the reality with a veil of magic.

I started digging deeper to find out links between Harry Potter and the real world,I followed Rowling's website and started researching on the character backgrounds.The most popular story that we have heard till today is that Harry Potter and his magical world just happened to Rowling in 1990 on a train journey from Manchester to London.But the thing about fiction is even though it is fiction,it always has a connection with this world,where fiction is a necessity to escape from the wilderness of sorrow and struggle,into a place where we can get what we want,we see what our eyes want to see.

Fiction in the form of fantasy has given us the best books and though fantasy is often underestimated in literature for not having the exact essence of literature,the verbosity,the wittiness,the unpredictability,fantasy is the route to a child's heart and that's why it remains forever unblemished in memory.

Harry Potter's background lies in the forlorn life of it's very own creator,J.K Rowling.

Rowling was born on 31st July in the UK,the same day her brainchild,Harry is born.She was brought up on the suburban British streets like the one the Durlseys live on ,and she along with her sister,Di endured the similar childhood traumas and massive disappointments as the novel's protagonist.

Her strained relationship with her own father inspired idealized father figures,like Hagrid,Dumbledore and Sirius Black in the series.

Her mother had been suffering from multiple sclerosis since 1980,and she was never really there to protect her children-this made her create a strong woman character,Lily who sacrificed her life for her son.

Rowling had already started sketching Harry Potter in her mind before her mother's death,and after she died,it influenced the storyline much more deeply and the plot only darkened with time.

She says the absence of any meaningful relationship with her father and the loss of her mother have been the two of the most important influences on her writing.

After her mother's death, Rowling moved to Portugal to teach English as a foreign language. There, she married television journalist Jorge Arantes, with whom she had daughter, Jessica. But the marriage failed after two years and Rowling succumbed to depression. 


Her deep depression inspired the creation of dementors, "the foulest creatures that walk this earth," who prey on people's happiness and suck out their souls in the Harry Potter series.

From her own words:

"I was definitely clinically depressed. And that's just characterized for me by, a numbness, just a sort of coldness and an inability to believe that you will feel happy again or that you could feel light-hearted again," she said. "It's just all the color drained out of life really."


Now if you look at the characters,apart from Voldemort who was completely evil and who killed for pleasure,the other characters are not entirely good or bad.They carry shades of gray.

Severus Snape was one of the most complicated characters ever created.Everyone considered him evil for his flagrant actions in his  past life.and no one other than Dumbledore had actually believed that he had stopped serving Voldemort.Everyone believed that he was incapable of love because of the stone-cold appearance,but deep inside he was a man who had always loved someone and without any kind of fear for life,he continued to evade Voldemort.
Inspite of his deep hatred towards James,he had protected Harry out of love for his mother.How true is that in our world?That often we judge someone for what we see,but very few have that insight to look beyond that face and see a person who has lost everything in life,and who clings onto the last ray of hope he can find.

Everyone considered James to be brave,but he was a person not meant to be idolized but detested,for misbehaving with Snape.He may have been a reformed person after marriage,a great friend and a loving father,but he wasn't perfect,and after the last Occlumency lesson,Harry stopped feeling proud of his resemblance with James.

Dumbledore who was once viewed as a saint,also had immense craving for immortality and power above all,he befriended one of the darkest wizards,Grindelwald and along with him he started searching for the Deathly Hallows,while his own family slowly fell apart.The obsession for power drove him mad,but not evil,unlike Voldemort.And only after the death of Lily and James,did he started believing what his true purpose in life was,he stood beside Harry,because in his heart,he had felt guilty for not being with his family and in the end he died saving Harry.

There is a time in everyone's lives,when we start realizing that the world isn't that simple,we have to protect ourselves from the people around us,that we start feeling vulnerable to emotions and we stop believing in everything we hear-and I learned that from Harry Potter,and after finishing the entire series,it seemed less imaginary,and more real,breathtakingly real!

Rowling's own life has been her biggest disappointment,prior Harry Potter, and it sort of opened her eyes to the evil that surrounds us,and hence,she created characters like Ron and Hermione,who has been the most transparent of all,who had sticked with Harry till the end.

 I don't know about others,but for me,Harry Potter is one of the greatest gifts to literature.And anyone who denies that,has never really understood it.

Diary

When I was small the only personal possession I ever had was a diary.I used to scribble drawings in it,occasionally poems that made no sense.But it was very dear to me,like my books,my toys.

This diary then became my companion,with whom I shared my anguishes,my love affairs and heartbreaks.I used to hide it in my cupboard behind my books lest my mother found about my little excursions.Unlike Anne Frank's diary it was much less resourceful,but it still had a name.I called it Frankie after the bossy girl from my favourite tv show,Sleepover Club.

It was where I could let my feelings find words;my secrets found shelter.

When I passed my class 10 board exams,I was desperately trying to convince my father to buy me a cellphone.most of my friends had it and I kind of felt very isolated without one.But,most importantly, I needed it to message someone I was in love with and there was no way I could talk to him using my parents' cellphone.

My cellphone never replaced my diary,but it did consume most of my attention.I was always on the lookout for a new text from my crush and my diary became the shoulder to cry on.I wrote small letters to him with an unrealistic dream that when I am gone,someday,he will search for me and then bam!this diary.Frankie will tell him how crazy I was about him and then he will fall in love with me.

Well,nothing like that ever happened.But then I purchased my own laptop and typing seemed a less tedious than writing.My first love certainly injected some sense in my deluded mind,and I stopped writing silly stuff in my diary.

I still have it though,I never sold it or left it in the store room along with old copies.Sometimes,when I find nice poems and beautiful words,I write them down.My handwriting has degraded a lot,but my diary is a relic indeed of love lost and found,of hopes and dreams,and a silent observer of my transformation from an immature lover to a rational one.

And I certainly intend to keep it with me,because however modern our technology might become,our heart feels more connected with those pages that smell of nostalgia and romantic desires,if you really want to know what is there behind the face of that stubborn engineer,you just need to dig a little deeper.There you will find stories of untold passion and hopes that lost their voice with time.There you will find dreams that have died young.There you will find poets and visionaries who still keep their lights on at night,to script their masterpieces,there you will find lovers who cannot speak but can write.

And then one day,this diary will fall in the hands of someone who will make a book out of it,well,you never know.
 

When woman means freedom

I was reading a short story called "Khata" by Rabindranath Tagore.A little girl called Uma gets married in an orthodox household where she is told to abandon her desires to read and write.Uma loved to write,she wanted to become a highly accomplished writer like her brother,but her dreams lost their meaning when she got married,and her diary was taken away by her husband who believed women only belong in the kitchen,their world only resides around their family.

Women's desires die with marriage,I often used to read in old stories.

But with the decadence of patriarchal civilization,women learned to forge their existence,although,a man is still considered the primary decision maker in the family.Everytime,I want to go out,my mother tells me to ask for permission from my father.I find it extremely vacuous.My mother is as much responsible for my welfare as my dad,then why is her opinion less valued?

If you are a Bengali,the you must have heard this-"meyeder buddhi hatute hoy"
(girl's intelligence lies in her toes)

A lot of people including our very own Bankimchandra Chattopadhyay (who wrote the National song of India,Vande Mataram) felt this.They used to feel thet reigns of the household should never belong to a woman,because she will only bring disgrace.But there were people,who went ahead of their times and made pioneers out of women,the oppressed becomes the beacon of hope and she represents the goddess in it's truest meaning.

Let me share with you the perspective of one such man from the 20th  century.

In January of 1926, a reporter named John B. Kennedy interviewed Nikola Tesla about these very ideas. The piece was published in Colliers magazine under the title “When Woman Is Boss” and is discussed in Margaret Cheney’s excellent Tesla: Man Out of Time , which remains the most insightful and dimensional perspective on the great inventor’s mind and spirit.

After reflecting on the future uses of wireless technology and practically predicting the iPhone, Tesla points to the empowerment of women as one of the most significant effects of technology on the world of tomorrow:

"It is clear to any trained observer, and even to the sociologically untrained, that a new attitude toward sex discrimination has come over the world through the centuries, receiving an abrupt stimulus just before and after the World War.

This struggle of the human female toward sex equality will end in a new sex order, with the female as superior. The modern woman, who anticipates in merely superficial phenomena the advancement of her sex, is but a surface symptom of something deeper and more potent fermenting in the bosom of the race.

It is not in the shallow physical imitation of men that women will assert first their equality and later their superiority, but in the awakening of the intellect of women."

 Tesla predicted the rise of women with the advent of technology and all his predictions have actually come true.Women conquer in the field of science,now they are encouraged to pursue their careers in the core engineering streams which were once considered Herculean tasks,tasks that only men can do;women are breaking records by climbing the highest mountains and crossing the English Channel.

But think about the small yet extremely noticeable discriminations that we face even today and that is inside our own home.

Do you go out without your husband's permission?Do you hang out with your friends more often when you are in a relationship?Do you enjoy the moonlight drive like your fellow male friends?Don't you feel intimidated by the presence of another pretty women at your partner's proximity?

Women have always been driven by the thought of being accepted and validated by the society she lives in;when it's her own home,she needs to follow her father;when she gets married,her husband becomes her world.

A celibate women faces the wrath of the society,she is often viewed as being characterless or infertile.

I have a sister-in-law who lost her husband a few days after her marriage.She has a daughter who never saw her father and she never had the opportunity to feel  a father's affection  because of her conservative in-laws who restricted her life inside their own family.Instead of encouraging her to get married again,they made her a figure of sympathy.She looks old and worn out.Her life would have been better without a husband too,but she doesn't enjoy the freedom of being a single woman either.

Sometimes I feel women are always stalked;the entire society observes her every move and if anything seems out of place,she is banished from some kingdom of perfect women.

And I am not just speaking of elderly people,but the young generation too who held utmost pride when it comes to defame a woman based on her choices.
I was a victim of that.I was humiliated by my own friends for leaving a guy who made my life miserable.

Women are advancing,but I think she is still considered very weak,fragile,I don't like the comparison with flowers because no,not every woman is born a flower,some are born like thorns too.They are born to challenge others and burn down the system;like the Joker,they are meant to expose the corruption inside our hearts.

I feel sorry for those women who apply fairness creams on their faces to find a perfect groom,those who apply make up to gain unnecessary attention,those who walk gracefully to present themselves as relationship materials,those who
diet to decrease their waist size from 28 to 26;and those who try to lose IQ points to have a wise boyfriend.


 Freedom comes from within,when you know that you don't need to be someone else to keep others in your lives,when you live with a burning dream and when you stop comparing yourself to others.

Freedom is very important,and once,you are free,you start viewing the world as your own oyster.

The storm

A few years ago,when I was in school,I used to watch a tv show called "Gaaner Opaare".It was extremely popular at that time because it was based on Rabindranath Tagore and how his songs have depicted the various phases of our life.

The story begins with a girl named Pupe,who is brought up under the strict governance of her grandfather.She is trained in Rabindra Sangeet and she grows up to become a reknown singer.Pupe's life is bound by the rules of her conservative household and there is no life beyond those four walls of her family.Her marriage is also fixed by her grandfather with a well-known guy named Pradipta who is the owner of a music company.Pradipta finds his soulmate in Pupe and Pupe finds him perfect for her too.

But then a storm named Gora steps in her life..

Gora is not one of those civilised men who are extremely courteous to the women around him,he lives life on his own terms,he makes parodies out of Rabindranath' s songs,he isn't polished or well-mannered,much to everyone's dismay.But he creates a huge turmoil in Pupe's heart.He conquers her soul with his luminous presence and makes her laugh,he gifts her the amazing gift of life,the way it should be lived and that is without any bounds.

Gora is not a gentleman and Pupe's family has no regard for someone like him in her life,but Pupe,falls in love with him for the first time in her colourless life.I still remember when she sang that song "Aaji ei boshonte,koto ful fothe,koto pakhi gay" (today in this spring,so many flowers bloom,so many birds sing)

Yes,it was spring in her life.Gora held her arms and taught her to spread the wings of fire,he served as the beacon who showed her the way beyond the locked doors,he took her by his side and asked her to run with him across the lush green fields like two mad lovers away from the crowd.

But it's hard to run away,when your life is being watched so closely by people who only want you to live by the rules and not with happiness.

Pupe gets engaged and Gora decides to abandon her forever.He realizes how small he is compared to Pradipta,he cannot give Pupe the pleasures she deserves and love alone won't suffice.

But Pupe decides to find him and get him back in her life.She forgets the responsibilities of a fiancee and she searches for Gora at every place possible till she finds him one day.She holds his hands and places them across her heart,and gives him the sign that he was always looking for.He belonged with Pupe and he was the one she always deserved.

When they got united again,the only words that I could recount were those said by Rose

"He saved me in every way a person could be saved"

Gora saved Pupe from the cruelty inflicted on her,from that point of view,he was her family;he was someone who saw the girl crying inside her,dying to break out every now and then.

Pradipta did lose her,he could have made a perfect husband,but he would have remained a loser forever in her eyes.

I believe if you love someone,you should never let them go,it doesn't matter where he came from,it doesn't matter where he belongs,because whatever happened,was meant to happen;that one road he chose to took for you made the difference.The rest should be forgotten.

And in that way,Pupe saved Gora too from being lost in the oblivion forever.She gave him a new identity and a new life.

She was a storm too,though a very gentle one.

Sometimes the storm is necessary to replenish our life with the advent of a new spring...

Growing up

 "Oh! Show me the way to the next little girl,oh! don't ask why"

When I look at my childhood photographs,I vividly recollect every moment that is preserved in them.But when I look back,3 to 4 years from now,I really don't remember a lot.I only see a huge gap of time with nothing much important about it,several losses,changed people and change in my own choices.

Growing up is sad.

When we are small,time makes a fool of us with memories to store in our head,but as we grow old,there is not much to store.Time passes so fast,that you can't actually remember what you did yesterday.

As we grow up,we stop hiding behind those doors and start confronting the real dangers,even if it means you are going to lose eventually.But facing the impossible is part and parcel of being an adult,it means you are ready to face  the world,when you aren't prepared,actually.It's like those tedious exams you sit for at he end of the month and when you look at the paper,you realize you have learnt nothing,nothing at all..

Sometimes,I wish I never grew up.I wish I could ask my mother to help me do my homework, or ask my father to put up those balloons and streamers on my birthday,I wish I could spend a whole weekend by the window and staring the shadow cast by the leaves,as the sunlight peeps through the tree,I wish I could slowly close the door behind me and join my friends at the playground.

I wish I could capture my thoughts in a camera and never let them go again.

I can't even imagine how my life is going to change by next year.My college life is going to end,I will join a new world of responsibilities.assisting people in solving their problems while I still don't know how to handle my own.May be these responsibilities are part of growing up,growing old enough to advise others but not being able to apply them in your own situation.

Growing up is an utter disaster.

The more you try to put everything in place,the more everything falls apart.

It's chaos,it's a mistake.

The Lies of Religion

It was one night in 2008 when Lashkar-e-Toiba militants attacked the city of Mumbai killing over hundreds of people including foreigners.2008 had been a very ominous year in the history of India as we observed several bomb blasts in big cities like Hyderabad and Jaipur.And it ended with the 26/11 terrorist attacks.The 4 days of fight between the terrorists and the protectors of this country was extensively covered by each and every news channel.The journalists lay on the roads night after the night observing the jawans tackle the terrorists bringing them down one by own.The entire nation watched with their heaving chests and we prayed everyday for new people to be rescued.The pictures that resurfaced everyday-dead bodies strewn around everywhere,jawans being killed,the walls of Nariman House holed with bullets,the blood and the gore of the entire massacre kept me awake everyday.I was a teenager then,I often questioned my parents why are people killing other people like this?What will they gain?But today I have known the ways of the world,who our humanity actually serves-religion.

I believe in God,but I am not religious.My friend said once, that,it doesn't matter whose god is better,it was this belief in god that created this eternal damage in the first place.I believe in God as a omnipotent entity which controls the world,God is the entire universe,the nature,the very air we breath and the water we drink,he brings us to the world and takes us back when the time comes.But this God has nothing to do with the rules of the society.Men are to be blamed for their own lunacy when they invented religion to prove their allegiance to a certain set of beliefs,there were men like Jesus,Muhammad,Krishna,Mahavir,Buddha and Nanak who poisoned the souls of men with their preachings and blatant lies about being the representative of the Almighty,human beings fell prey to their lies and today we are divided by religion.My religion is not better than yours,it's a lie that I live everyday,it's a false sense of security that I dwell in everyday when I fall down and pray to some stone idol to make my life better when it had already caused so much trouble in this world.Religion has been brainwashing the poor and the rich since centuries,while the rich donate money to temples for more money,the poor stand outside the gates of temple hoping to get one view of their beloved God.They believe that God can make them rich but I don't know what to say,this God cannot make you better,only you can make yourself better with the fruits of your own labour.

Think about the amount of hatred the entire world has towards others' religion,we do not leave a chance to point our fingers towards another's religion because we think there is no flaw in ours.But there is,every religion is flawed and unless every religion that ever walked the face of earth vanishes,humanity is doomed.Religion has given us the authority to kill for pleasure,to prove that what I believe in is right.Religion has no scientific grounds,it only has some laws and rules and if you have read the history my dear,religion was never created with any kind of allegiance to any God.We all worship the same God,it's just our beliefs are hugely manipulated and misguided by some shrewd idiot who wrote down his own doctrines in some book.If there was no religion,there would be no ISIS,there would not be two nations like India and Pakistan,there would be no children of Syria living in the fear of death everyday,there would be no Dadri lynching.

Today we think we are modern since we use the latest technologies,but,we cannot tolerate a single word that questions my religion.Religion is man's creation and with every passing day,this world is getting more and more dangerous to live in.The Christians want to dominate the Muslims,and the Muslims want to regain authority.If you look at the faces of people,you will realize how tired they are of this religion.People want food and shelter,they don't care how others live,what they believe in,today religion is a lost cause to fight for.But still there is section of people who is waging war in the name of religion,slaughtering innocents who have no belief in their own religion let alone the others' religion.I am seeing young minds being darkened by bullets and guns,their hands getting ready to touch someone's blood instead of holding the pen and the book.Education is important,science is the only thing that can make us believe that religion doesn't always tell the truth.

Loneliness...

 "Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect"-Margaret Mitchell

Loneliness is a disease,once you get addicted to it,it never leaves you.It's worse than smoking and drinking,it tears you apart from inside and steals your voice.I often dream about animals attacking me at night,but then,I try to scream,but I cannot hear myself-loneliness is just like that,it takes you away from what you want and what you need.Why am I writing about loneliness?Because I honestly feel we all are very lonely in this world.And why exactly we are lonely?Because we have so many people around us but none of them touch our lives.Some who do leave for better options and  a very few who stay do not have time for us.And here I am writing today about the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life-Loneliness.

It affects me a lot more than other people living inside the stony walls of the city,because I once was a little girl with spring in my toes and sunshine in my hands.I roamed around the garden just like a butterfly and bathed in the warm light of friendship and love,but then I moved to this city.And my life changed.I felt like a prisoner,I had no one to talk to,I lost my playmates and I found myself disgusted by the way people live here,year after year,locked inside their apartment,pretending not to hear what's happening around them.I felt lost and depressed,and most importantly,very very lonely.

I started writing diaries to my imaginary friends like Harry Potter wishing that he would hear me and rescue me from this strange prison I was living.I wanted to fly away to the magical lands,to the small town I once lived,my home.

I suffered at times in silence and I felt scared about meeting new people,I engrossed myself in reading more and more books and devoted most of my time speaking to myself about my pain because my parents couldn't hear me dying inside everyday.

Loneliness is the worst thing my friend,and believe me,if you ever want to be on your own,if you ever hate yourself for not having enough friends compared to your facebook friends,then try not to feel angry inside.Go outside and talk to people,settle your mind and calm down.Because those who flaunt their super cool lifestyle on social networking sites have nothing better to do.So,don't feel upset because you are fine.

Internet makes you feel lonelier,that's something that I have realized since I joined facebook.My college life has not been that great.I started my college with ,lots of friends then they slowly walked away.I do have very few friends who I can afford to lose but I feel happy to have them around me.I do not need to pretend to people that I have a whole lot of people in my life with whom I can share my beer.

Getting out of that constant feeling to be left alone has been very difficult for me,so I decided not to be afraid of it anymore and instead be with them whom I can actually trust.I feel we are not children anymore,instead of how many do we have,we should count how many will be there after a long time when you are sitting right here and thinking about them.

Honestly,I wish this internet never ever came in our lives.Because things were so much better.People were so much happier when they didn't know what's happening in someone else's life.When people actually cared to remember others' birthdays,when we used to get greeting cards on new years and stored them in a box.Yes,that is the time I think of when I feel sad and lonely.Internet gave us a lot of access to people's private lives but made us feel more detached from people.

I do hope that anyone who feels the same,finds this useful and make sure to smile and let this loneliness go.Because there is a time for everything,and one day,you shall have it all.

Thoughts and prayers

I want to tell you the stories of some people today..

Milkha Singh one of the most legendary sportsmen of India who represented us in numerous international events.He was asked to return to Pakistan,his original homeland to represent his nation. The young ebullient sportsman was broken by the very thought of returning to the land where his own relatives were slaughtered by Muslims.But then he decided to run on that very soil and he won the race against a Pakistani and was bestowed with the name "The Flying Sikh" by another Pakistani.

Taslima Nasreen,one of the most iconic authors who has spoken about violence against women across the world,she was banned from her own country,Bangladesh after making controversial statements against Islam.She was sent to India with a price on her head set by her own countrymen and even today,she lives outside.She has been banished from her homeland and she doesn't know when she is going to come back.

M.F Husain,the legendary artist died miles away from his country,India for painting Saraswati nude.

And there are these millions of Syrian immigrants who wait everyday at the borders of the European nations to be accepted as their own.

How does it feel when he are haunted by the thoughts of going back to the very place where we were born?How does it feel to be away from your own motherland?

I am not a poet and not an intellectual either,but I do love my country in my own way.When I see a beggar on the street,I offer to help him with the very little money I have,when I see a dog who is trying to get my attention,I pat its head and offer it a biscuit,when I see an old man standing on the bus,I offer him my seat.But when I do this do I ask him whether he is a muslim or a hindu or a christian?No,I do it as human being.I don't care where he was born,what his history is or what he does now.I don't care which cast he belongs to because as Justin Trudeau said "Because it's 2015".

It pains me a lot when the Muslims in our country are asked to shift to Pakistan,they are branded as anti-nationals by some Hindu extremist groups.How does it feel when you feel like an outsider in your own country?Just like these people I spoke about previously.I am a Hindu but the people who are being targeted everyday are my countrymen.They deserve respect and dignity just as much as I do.

People keep on quoting Godhra riots and the numerous terrorist activities,but they forget that the people who live here are not the same people.They have nothing against any Hindu and I can vouch for them since I know quite a lot of them.No,they don't attack me with a sword everytime I speak to him,my own Rahman chacha,my neighbour they are there when my family needs them,they eat the prasad they are offered,the same prasad I have,they drink the same water I drink then why should some religious doctrines and some difference in principles separate us or make them feel alienated in their own country.

A wise old man was once asked why didn't he leave for Pakistan after partition along with the other Muslims.His answer was "Is zameen ka ek ek Hindu mera bhai hai. Uss zameen ke saare Musalman paraye. Yaha paida hua tha. Yahi rahunga aakhri saans tak."

("Every Hindu of this land(India) is a brother to me. Every Muslim of that land(Pakistan), a stranger. I was born here and I shall live out my days here." )

 I am an Indian,I am not a Muslim but I do not hate Pakistan because I don't want to be remembered as a xenophobic racist intolerant idiot who wants her fellow country men to suffer,I don't want to see bodies burning in another riot.I want to see everyone rising up against whatever that has been going on in our country,I want everyone to rise not in the name of religion,but in the name of humanity because it's very important that we do it now.I don't want my country to lose her smile the way Syria has lost it.

I am protesting in my very own way because I believe in what Mahatma once said

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant,but  it's important that you do it,because nobody else will"

 

Heartbreak Hotel

I often think how I have matured from being a romantic movie buff to an actual lover.It's true that we always try to imagine our life to be an exact copy of some movie,how two strangers meet one day,two people who have no clue how their worlds are going to turn upside down,they fall desperately in love,they get separated and they meet again one day,when the rain is falling and the movie ends in a happy note with the two lovers getting united forever.I used to watch "One Tree Hill" a lot,I so admired Lucas and Peyton's love story and then slowly it got so stale with their on and off relationship,Lucas's numerous engagements to other women,I used to think "Why is he doing this when he still loves Peyton?"It's quite rare that your love gets reciprocated the way you want it to be and these people take a whole season to get back together.Sigh!we do rely too much on television to get the taste of how it feels to be accepted in love.

My readers might think why am I writing so much on love?Well,I suffered a heartbreak a few days ago,and I know what it means to be away from something that you have always wanted in life.Things always don't turn up to be the way you want them to be,but then again life moves on.You stumble upon another person in life and get your heart broken,again.Well,I was really upset today,angry inside for being a fool in relationships when I came across this beautiful letter written by my most favorite author,John Steinbeck to his eldest son,Thom when he fell in love with a girl named Susan.It is more than just a blessing to me when I am trying to get a closure.I have always seen love through a woman's eyes well since I am a woman myself but I never knew what men feel when then they are in love.And I am going to share it with you today.

"Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect— not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,
Fa


Well,I have always been the one afraid to lose what's important to me,but,now,I'll keep in mind this precious little advice."nothing good gets away". Patience is the key,my heart,patience.

The Last Poem

আজ অনেক দিন বাদে কেন জানি না খুব মনে করতে ইচ্ছে হলো কিছু ফেলে আসা মুহুর্তগুলোকে । কাল রাত এর effect হয়ত । শেষের কবিতা পরছিলাম । এটা  নাকি বাংলা romance এর landmark novel । হা আমিও মনে করি। অমিত আর লাবন্যের মত প্রেম সাধারণ মানুষের জীবন এ আসে না।তারা বিশাস করত বিয়ে থেকে প্রেম এর ক্ষতি হয়,প্রেম এর সেই সারল্য থাকে না,যে প্রেম আমাদের ক্ষণে ক্ষণে  মুগ্ধ  করে,রাতের ঘুম কেড়ে নেই,বিবাহ মানে যেন সেই লুকোচুরির অবসান,সেই গোপনতার অবসান,বিবাহের পরে জীবন যেন এক খোলা চিঠি র মত,সবাই দেখতে পারে। কিন্তু সেই প্রেম তো তারা চায়নি।তারা চায়নি একে অপরক বদলাতে। তারা তাদের মধ্যেকার মানুষ কে  হারাতে চায়নি ,তাই তারা বেছে নেই আলাদা রাস্তা,অন্য জীবনসঙ্গী বেছে নেয়।  মানুষ এর বিশ্বাস যে বিবাহ মানে প্রেম কে সমাজ এর চোখে আলিঙ্গন করা। বিবাহ মানে দুজন দুজন এর মনের দরজাক খুলে দেওয়া। কিন্তু যেটা আমাদের জীবন এ সব চাইতে মূল্যবান হয় সেটার ভুল ত্রুটি কেউ জানতে চায় না। তার ভুল গুলোকে  পিছনে ফেলে তার সৌন্দির্যকে উপভোগ করতে চায়। সেটাতেই তো নেশা আছে আর বিবাহ যেন একটা নিয়ম মেনে চলার মতন,সেটাতে কিছু আইন কানুন আছে,এই সকালে একসাথে ওঠো,একসাথে TV দেখো,আবার রাত হলে একসাথে ঘুমিয়ে পড়। সেটাতে কোনো হারানোর ভয় নেই,কোনো দূর এ চলে গেলে তাক রোজ দেখার চাহিদাও নেই।

আজ থেকে কিছু বছর আগে যখন প্রথম ভালোবেসেছিলাম একজনক,তখন রোজ তাকে দেখার জন্য কতই না কষ্ট করতে হয়েছে।স্কুল এর ground এ দাড়িয়ে থাকতাম রোজ তার প্রতিক্ষায়। অপেক্ষা গুলো মন্দ লাগত না তখন,সেটাতেও যেন একটা অদ্ভুত শান্তি ছিল।লোকে ভাবত মেয়ের  দ্বারা তো প্রেম হবে না।কিন্তু হয়েই গেল শেষ মেশে। কাউকে ভালোবেসে যে এতটা আনন্দ পাওয়া যায় সেটা প্রথমবার বুঝেছিলাম। চোখ দুটো যেন আলো  দেখল,মন টা যেন সর্গ পেল।ওর  আসতে মনে হয়েছিল যেন আমার জীবন এর অনেকটা অংশ খুব খালি ছিল।ওর  আসার পরে পরে সেই emptiness আর থাকল না।জীবন টাকে  সম্পূর্ণ মনে হলো। তারপরে একদিন ও চলেও গেল। আজক  ও খুব খুশি। ওর জীবনে আবার প্রেম এসেছে। facebook এ ওদের ছবিগুলো দেখলে আজ ও খুব হিংসে হয়,আমি আগে ওর  খুশি চাইতাম,ভাবতাম কি করলে ওক একটু হাসান যায়,কিন্তু আজ বুঝলাম ভালোবাসা  অতটাও selfless নয়,ভালোবাশতে গেলে একটু selfish হতে হয়,তাই মনে মনে ওক বলি আমাক কেন ভুলে গেলে?আমি কি কোনদিন ও তোমায় কিছু দিতে পারিনি ? আমার মনে পরত ওক লেখা চিঠিগুলো। আজক তো কেউ একুকে চিঠি লেখে না।কিন্তু আমি লিখতাম আর মনের সব দুক্ষগুলক উজার করতাম।যদি ও একবার আমার চোখের জল গুলোক মুছে দেয়।আমরা cinema র  hero  fantasize করি,কিন্তু প্রথম প্রেম সেই hero র ও উর্ধে। প্রথম প্রেম এর টান আছে, ব্যথা আছে,স্মৃতি আছে,হয়ত জীবন এ সেগুলো দুবার ফিরবে না।আমি রোজ ভাবি যে আজ যদি ও আমার জীবন এ থাকত তালে কি আমি অক এতটাই ভালোবাসতাম ?হয়ত সময়ের  সাথে ওক  আরো চিনতাম,আর  অনেক কিছু আমার খারাপ লাগতে লাগত,এমনিতেও ও আমার থেকে অনেকটাই আলাদা ছিল,আজক হয়ত আরো বদলে গেছে,তখন কি মেনে নিতে পারতাম মাথা নত করে?হয়ত পারতাম না,তাই মনকে একটা আশ্বাস দি,ওক  হারিয়ে ভালই হয়েছে,ওক মাঝে মাঝে যে মনে করতে পরি,ও আমার মনের মধ্যে এতটুকুও অপ্রিয় নয়,অনেকটা সম্মান করি,কিছুটা ভালবাসি,অনেক অভিমান আছে হয়ত,শান্তিও অনেকটাই কম,কিন্তু জায়গাটা সেই একই আছে।হয়ত অমিত আর লাবন্য সেটাই চাইতো। ভালোবাসেনি যে কোনদিন সে অত গভীর ভাবে ভালোবাসাক চেনে না,আর ওরা চিনেছিল ওদের কবিতা দিয়ে,ওদের সম্পর্ক টা  শারীরিক মিলন বা চক্ষুশ আকর্ষণ নয়,বা দৈনিক জীবনযাপন এ হারিয়ে যাওয়া প্রেম নয়,ওরা ওদের প্রেম কে চিরস্থায়ী রাখতে চেয়েছিল দুরে থেকে,বিবাহ দিয়ে নয়,কিছু পাওয়ার জন্য সত্তি কিছু হারাতে হয়..

Simplicity Lost..

The other day I was having a talk with my best friend on the various books we have read till now.As we discussed about the authors and their signatures styles,she and I arrived at a common point-the loss of simplicity in stories nowadays.For today's readers,literature is often confused with complex stories,things we barely understand,characters that don't connect with us.I enjoy reading Haruki Murakami,but even his stories don't speak to me,they make me think and wonder,but they are not the people whom we meet everyday.As Orhan Pamuk rightfully stated in his book "Other Colors" - "To write well is to allow the reader to say 'I was going to say the same thing myself,but I couldn't allow myself to be that childish.' "Stories make you think and help you figure out solutions,they make you realize that you are not the only one who has faced difficult times,even this character has,stories are the ones that make you cry,talk to yourself as you read and make you laugh when you think how silly of him to do this.And these stories are not the ones written by Murakami,in real world,people don't sleep with their alleged mother's ghost or talk to frogs.Often authors write about real world problems but make them way to compliciated to understand like Arundhati Ray's "The God of Small Things". And that's where Ruskin Bond,J.K Rowling,R.K Narayan,Khaled Hosseini make their mark.Even Harper Lee and John Steinbeck write fantastic stories in local dialects and weave beautiful stories based on  their own experiences.Just think why do you love Harry Potter so much?Because he makes us cry,he makes us proud and feel different about ourselves.I have already spoken about how I feel when I read Ruskin Bond's stories,his language is so lucid but his words and experiences make me feel "Yes,I was in this exact situation once".Ruskin's stores make me nostalgic and influence me more than the biggies in literature.I honestly don't admire Virginia Woolf because her stories are more or less depressing and my childhood,my life are not that depressing.Stories are not meant to make you feel depressed or suicidal,they can make you sad but in the end you feel a positive vibe,you feel like you have someone's hand,someone's support in your life to move forward.This simplicity and warmth are really missing nowadays and whenever I start reading a book,I often wish,please god,don't make it all messed up.Books are the best companions one can have,they don't ask for anything,they give,but they are not supposed to suck self-esteem and hope out of you.Think about Rabindranath Tagore's short stories,precise and charming.Think about Saratchandra,no wonder he was called the Kathashilpi.His stories spoke about the daily struggles of common people,and that's why people still read his books,Stories make the authors immortal and they earn them a place in the reader's heart forever.So isn't it better to write something our minds can decipher,something that is worth remembering?

He and She

I hope, by this time, everyone is familiar with the #HeForShe speech given by Emma Watson last year.What makes it one of the most iconic speeches of modern times?It doesn't speak solely for women's rights,it advocates for men and women rights.As she rightfully pointed out, “It is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum, instead of two sets of opposing ideals. If we stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can all be freer, and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom.”

Both men and women are victims of gender inequality.

With the rise of women,there has been a lot of skepticism about the laws that have been implemented, and it's true most of them favor women.There are lots of women who have misused these laws for their own advantages and ruined the lives of men.But these crimes go unnoticed because of an extremely distorted belief that men are NEVER victims,they are always the criminals.They are devoid of sensitivity,pain and misery.While, a woman getting raped garners attention from the media and a lot of support from the masses, a man getting raped is something that is never talked about.But a man's pathos has always remained unnoticed.I was talking to a friend a few months ago regarding his family problems.I asked him to share his load with me so that I can help him,but he said,he is a man,and men should never talk of their troubles.I told him that all human beings should express their feelings irrespective of their gender.I have seen my own father suffering but he has never shared it with his family.And I think this is a very common observation in most families.While women express themselves more freely,men suffer in silence and there are times they actually succumb to depression and anxiety by committing suicides.Similarly,when a girl is born,she is taught to be polite and submissive.She is asked to bow to a man because that's what qualifies as a womanly attitude.Girls are still married off at a tender age and their immature wombs are forced to breed children.While,it's a common belief that women are victims of body-shaming,recent studies indicate that men are victims too.A recent survey was carried out where men were asked to choose what they think of as a perfect male body.Most of them voted for a muscular one.But the women are not to be blamed here,because they don't have any such criteria.It's the men themselves who suffer from such insecurities. It's really shameful that even today,we are gullible to such prejudices,even the educated and the influential ones have failed to change the way we think.

There are more than just biological differences between men and women.

I have seen men and women fighting over the internet defending their gender,but if we stop once and ponder over why exactly we are fighting,we shall see,it's not because men are bad or women are terrible,it's because the societal system is itself wrong.It imposes certain stereotypes on us and we are bound to follow them to survive.When a man is born,he isn't taught to become a good human being,instead he is taught NOT to become a woman.Even today,we make fun of effeminate men because of the hugely flawed portrayal of masculinity as men being strong and aggressive.Women are similarly taught not to be men and this goes on for centuries.Two genders fighting against each other,when one is benefited,the other is victimized.No one ever says this has to stop.No one ever says, that men and women should complement,not contradict each other.You can be a man and still like the Pink colour,you can be a woman and still ride the bike.

In the recent times,there has been a lot of women bashing over the internet because of women enjoying all the privileges and men being left out.It's because of the massively advertised feminist campaigns,feminism is becoming synonymous to man hating,and I will agree with some men who are saying that for many women,feminism means permanent dominance over men,There are very few women who are actually advocating for equality.Men have been victims to false rape accusations and false dowry cases,but these women have not been punished as severely as men are punished for the same amount of crime.So where is the equality?While giving big talks about the necessity of feminism has become a very popular norm nowadays,everyone seems to have forgotten that such radical feminism might actually lead to harsh consequences in the future with men and women falling apart.

I think after reading this,you and I have all arrived at the same conclusion-Gender should not be used as means for discrimination any more.It's time that we stop thinking about our gender's welfare and concentrate on humanity's welfare.It's time we stop pointing  fingers towards our gender when we fail or achieve. Let gender not be an issue or an identity.Let's accept that it exists and cannot be shunned, but it can be considered insignificant.

View my article at:http://www.universitybeats.in/2015/07/19/he-and-she/

Sleeping away

"And miles to go before I sleep,and miles to go before I sleep.."

When I was in class 10,we had this poem in our syllabus.I wasn't much of a poetry fanatic at that time,little details,hidden meanings didn't interest me.But those were the things that attracted the examiners and we would have to learn an entire summary on why did the poet write these exact lines.Not that I cared,but these lines affected me deeply.more than anything else.Sleep in the sense slumber and sleep in the sense the eternal sleep-death.Poets are geniuses,they play with words,they play with minds,I don't understand why poetry is still so underrated when it can make a greater impact on someone's mind,it can leave you bedazzled forever.But what do we know of the ways of men and women?

Anyways,as I was saying,these lines are the world's best lines according to me.And they mean so much right now when I am about to sit for my placements,a crucial episode of my life,a new beginning.I spent the last two months sitting infront of the laptop screen,solving problems.I started writing this blog and I also finished a couple of great books.And now when the time draws to an end,I realize there are miles to go before I sleep.I haven't slept much since a long time.All those untraveled miles have kept me awake.There is so much to do and so little time left.Sometimes,I think of my childhood when the holidays meant endless games and long siestas.I had dreams of colouring the world with my little hands and I had so much time.I spent all the time playing and playing.But,I have no time now.Time is scarce and this is the time I have to change the world.I wish  I could go back and bring me some more time but this is what I have now.So many miles and no sleep.Maa always tells me that one day,I'll have plenty of time to rest my legs.I keep believing her like deluded child hoping that day will soon come,but as the time flies past me,I keep getting busier and more thoughtful.There are times I don't want to grow old,as I feel myself being dragged into more responsibilities,but what choice do I have?I keep molding myself with the waves of changes and the more I change,the more I feel being plunged into some darkness.Sleep,that's something I need.And it keeps getting out of my hands and I wait for my eyes to close at the end of the day.

Don't you feel like you have spent a lot of time running?You have run madly for something but the only thing that mattered the most was a nice sleep under the warmth of blankets,as you shut your eyes,you shut your mind to the rest of the world and you slip into some deep abyss from where you never want to come out-sounds just like death.

Ruskin and I

 

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.”

-J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

This is the exact feeling I get when I read one of Ruskin Bond's books.He is one person whom I have never seen in flesh and blood but whenever I read his books,I feel like penning a letter to him and giving him the biggest hug.If there was any person whom I would ask to write my biography,it would be him.My tryst with Ruskin began with “A Handful of Nuts”.If anyone has ever read his books,most of his books are memoirs.He speaks of his journey as a struggling author living in Dehradun with a guy named Sitaram,the annoying but resourceful son of a local dhobi.At that time he was quite broke and yet someone whose dignity was his most important aspect.He befriended a number of people including the Maharani of Magador who tries to develop sexual relations with the young author.As I read the book,I seemed to discover a person who is so much similar to me.He is one person who has never given up on his dreams and followed his passion of writing despite financial problems.And I found myself empathazing with him as I had been in his position once.I struggle everyday for a job to meet my needs,and yet I cherish the burning desire to be a writer someday or may be a musician,and tour all over the world.Our likes and dislikes both seem to match.He and I are both ardent lovers of hills.I often find my family complaining that they have never been to the sea for a long time because of me.I always wanted to live in a small cottage ensconsed in the heart of the mountains.I will be alone like Kafka Tamura, roaming around naked in my own cottage,where the only sound will be the silence of the woods and the occasional chirping of birds.Ruskin Sir lives in Landour, a small town in Mussouri.And he is an occasional visitor to the local bookshop where he spends his time with book lovers.I cannot imagine a more perfect life than his,he lives alone and unmarried,away from the hullabaloo of the world,he has no connection with the virtual world of facebook or twitter and yet he maintains such a magnificent presence in the hearts of his fans.His solitude,his happiness,his softness all seem to remind me of my own traits.He could have been my soul mate,but unfortunately,it's not possible in this birth.

I discovered Ruskin more through his autobiographical novel, “Scenes from a Writer's Life”.A child who was abandoned by his mother and who grew up in the shadow of his loving father.The letters his father used to send him left me teary eyed.Ruskin reminds me of the people that I have lost once and old friends whom I had to bid farewell.I remembered my old town where I grew up,where I made lots of friends but then one day I left them in search of a better life.I often used to think I would meet them someday,but that time never came,I changed as I indulged myself in the pleasures of the city life.The same thing happened with Ruskin.He had a friend named Somi whom he never saw after he came back from England.These are his exact words about him-

“To return to Somi,he was one of those friends I never saw again as an adult,so he remains transfixed in my memory as eternal youth,dream-bright,unchanging..I have often dreamt of Somi,and it is always the same dream..We meet in a fairground,set up on the old parade ground.In the dream I am a man but he is still a boy”

I have often felt the same way about my own childhood friends-how they have always remained eternally young in my imagination,and whenever I close my eyes I can see them prancing around me.Nostalgia-one of the strongest emotions a man has,and Ruskin Bond is full of it.

Reading his book is reading my own life.A few days ago I penned a birthday letter for him,but unfortunately there was no way I could mail it to him.So,I shared it on his fan page.I could feel the goosebumps when I inscribed every word in the letter and my voice choked when I told about it to my mother.It was like writing a letter to a long lost friend.I don't know if I will ever get to know him personally,but I think,I know him well enough.It's like both of us were so meant for each other,we have shared a journey together but in different parts of the world and in different times.But I found him in his beautiful books-a beautiful person who turns the mundane and hopeless world around him into a place full of love and peace.His books open doors to his heart and I love to get lost in it again and again.