I have been
feeling a little down lately. There are a number of reasons I can attribute
that to. My friends are getting married and I am still single. I don’t have
enough work in my hands, feeling a bit lost lately with my job, sometimes, I
feel I don’t have enough to contribute (even though I got promoted recently, so
yay!). Or may be because I have been watching a lot of Bojack Horseman.
Mr.
Peanutbutter said “The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being
happy isn’t the search for meaning; it’s just to keep yourself busy with
unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead.”
I have been
thinking a lot about what’s my purpose in life. I think we all do. We have
ambitions, dreams -some of us want to make the world a better place and some of
us want to watch it burn. My friend left his stable job for a start up, he left
it too for creating his own company. When he gave me the news, he did not
expect me to be so supportive. One thing that I have learned through all my
experiences is not to judge someone for their choices unless it involves murdering
someone. We have been friends for a few years, I know his struggles, he has been
extremely brave throughout his life, he deserves happiness. But I have never
seen him happy, and I hope this new venture will make him happy.
But are we
every happy? We all think we will purpose in something, or someone. But life is
so unpredictable, our minds are so whimsical. We don’t have the tenacity to
hold on to one thing, we get bored, we move onto something else. And
eventually, we forget what we wanted in the first place. We forget what defines
us. I think the much-dreaded question in any job interview is “tell me about
yourself”. Do we know who we are? We talk about what we do, what we love, but
do we actually know who we are. Do we even want people to know who we are? We
create an identity for ourselves concealed in the superficial layers of career,
education, hobbies, we mould
our personalities with every interaction, till we gradually
drift apart from true selves.
Nothing
makes sense. But I feel the reason we are unhappy, from my own epiphanies, is
we all want to belong somewhere. That is the path to happiness, and if not happiness,
it’s satisfaction. We all seek comfort, even the ones who love adventures, and
spend months away from home. Some people find comfort in the unknown, because that’s
what makes them feel the most alive. And for some people, it’s the corner of the
bed where you can spend hours, holding a cigarette in your hands, and doing
nothing.
We all deserve
to be happy, we should care deeply about our own mental health, to often say no
to situations, sometimes, it’s just good to do something which makes you laugh,
happiness doesn’t last long, so you need to steal those precious moments whenever
you find time and make the most out of it. May be that’s how we die happy in
the end.
